Top 10 Paula Poundstone Quotes

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Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

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