Top 10 Mort Sahl Quotes

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My life needs editing.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.

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