Top 10 Jasper Carrott Quotes

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I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

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