Top 10 Ivo Graham Quotes

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Standup is full of young white guys with generic life experiences.

I think having a kid is going to make me work harder in a way that's slightly overdue.

Comedy is such a frivolous world that it can make you addicted to the frivolity, and then a lot of people don't settle down and are still in that non-specific age maturity bracket.

I'm a better writer than a performer. Everyone wants to feel like they're a bit of a polymath, and I certainly feel that.

The shaved head with which I returned to university in my second year was meant to give me a new air of mystery and menace. It did not.

I loved saying 'swab' in my 2014 fringe show. In an otherwise very mumbly performance, there wasn't a day that I didn't absolutely chuck myself at it.

I made a couple of friends when I was a teenager who said I was funny. I used to send them very long texts; it was on a Nokia and always exceeding the text limit. But if I was making jokes in a group nobody was listening.

I went to Eton, that's a slightly controversial issue, but it's an interesting subject to try and come across as likable and self-aware and possibly even defeat a couple of stereotypes.

Mark Watson is someone I'm keen on as a fellow nervous person.

I'm not a terrifically fit person. I haven't been for any exercise. I played a bit of football, ate a couple of apples. I got a gym membership last time I was in Edinburgh but it was very hard to unsubscribe.

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