Top 10 Gilbert Gottfried Quotes

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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like it's crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like it's laughing. Nowadays, we would say, 'How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.'

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