Top 10 David Letterman Quotes

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There is no off position on the genius switch.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

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