Top 10 Bryan Callen Quotes

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My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.

Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.

Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

I celebrate masculinity when I'm onstage.

Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.

My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over.

There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A.

I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do.

I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes.

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