Top 10 Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

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I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, 'I'll write more than everybody else, and that's how I'll get better.'

I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

I enjoyed writing for someone else's voice, but I wasn't very good at it.

I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldn't be the bad guy in the joke; he couldn't upset people, really.

The driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing for 11 years as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do.

On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.

In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.

I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and 'I hope horrible things don't happen to my family,' but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

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