Spike Milligan Quotes

Most Famous Spike Milligan Quotes of All Time!

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We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone...

We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last...

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The lunacy continues and has every chance of becoming a way of life unless we stop it soon. Men are getting so used to wars that the psychiatric wing of the RAMC are planning how to break the news to...

Unbeknown to me, my manager, under my very nose (in a crouching position) has all these years been secretly compiling a book from my correspondence. I often wondered what she was doing in my office. She never did a stroke...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

It's all in the mind, you know.

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