Sheila Heti Quotes

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I think making friends you can work with is a skill like any other, developing those particular kinds of intimacies. They're intimacies like any other, but they grow in a definite direction, not just willy-nilly like normal friendships.

I saw what was wonderful about human companionship. Before that, I was quite content to be alone, to be a solitary wandering person, and I thought I always would be. Love changed that.

Fiction is a way for writers to preserve their friendships and their romances!

I find that when I'm in a relationship, I'm just so 'in it,' you couldn't even call it an art; it's such embroilment. With a friendship, you can choose a little bit more how to behave. You can be guided more.

A woman will always be made to feel like a criminal, whatever choice she makes, however hard she tries. Mothers feel like criminals. Non-mothers do, too.

Nonfiction, to me, feels like an argument, whereas a novel is like a series of questions.

Women without children can help mothers, and we can just be all in this together.

I didn't wander into motherhood or nonmotherhood unconsciously, recklessly. I gave it due consideration.

You think you're writing the most important book, you think you're writing the most stupid book, and you never really know before it's done that it's going to be done.

If you want to write from life, you can't really write a story. People are always changing, and I think if we didn't look the same day-to-day, and our self weren't always in our body, would we even be the same? The continuity is in our bodies.

When you're writing, I think a big part of writing comes out of an attempt to understand yourself. You're dealing with emotions and thoughts that are native to you. So that probably winds up in your characters.

Many of the traits in my characters are exaggerations of things I see in myself. But in 'How Should a Person Be?' I wasn't trying to write about myself so much as a combination of myself and these women I was seeing in our culture.

I just always felt whole when I was writing. I felt this kind of beautiful privacy that I never felt in any other way. I feel like there's this great fullness to being alone, and writing is a really vivid way and a really magical way of being alone.

Writing makes everything else in my life okay; it makes everything make sense.

Few writers push the reader away with the coolness, dignity, and faint melancholy of Fleur Jaeggy.

A daughter is more difficult than a rose.

In 'Sweet Days of Discipline,' the narrator, years after graduating, fortuitously encounters her old friend Frederique at a movie theatre. Frederique invites her home.

I don't think 'Motherhood' is a map for women. I would never say that it's a template for every woman in response to her biology.

I've written about women's lives, and I just want to write about them from being a woman. I don't need feminism on top of that when I'm writing.

My feminism is just part of my being - a part of my understanding of the world.

To me, something that's beautiful in terms of a book is something that lives inside the reader both as a discrete and complete thing, but also something that seeps out into their life and thoughts.

The main problem I've always had with fashion media is that women are encouraged to copy other women.

One good thing about being a woman is we haven't too many examples yet of what a genius looks like.

I think that part of the reason I like collaboration so much is because it's something unexpected coming in, and you have to stretch yourself to absorb it.

You don't go to tarot readers or psychics when everything's going well. It's always evidence of rock-bottom.

When I was younger, I think that I felt like I could only live one way, and I had to figure out which of those one ways it was going to be. I have no anxiety about making the wrong decision.

Raffi is arguably the world's most famous children's singer.

Raffi Cavoukian was born in Cairo in 1948 and moved with his Armenian parents to Toronto when he was 10.

Raffi doesn't have any grand theories about why his music has been so successful, but he credits a group called the Babysitters as early inspiration.

For me, a memoir is supposed to be understood as a representation of your life, whereas a novel is self-consciously symbolic.

I believe there's a platonic ideal for every book that is written, like there's the perfect version of the book somewhere in the ether, and my job is to find what that book is through my editing.

I don't think about the reader when I'm writing, but I do when I'm editing, of course. For instance, I self-consciously didn't want to do anything to increase the divide between mothers and nonmothers - I think that divide is so horrible and destructive and unnecessary.

Renown is something people have always wanted, but maybe what's modern is that it's considered a virtue, this desire, rather than a vice. I might be wrong about this.

Writing, for me, when I'm writing in the first-person, is like a form of acting. So as I'm writing, the character or self I'm writing about and my whole self - when I began the book - become entwined. It's soon hard to tell them apart. The voice I'm trying to explore directs my own perceptions and thoughts.

Trying to live the image of the life which you have in your head... it's really hard not to do that, but I do think maybe it's cheating.

Everyone's always telling themselves stories about their lives, writers or not.

There is a kind of sadness in not wanting the things that give so many other people their life's meaning. There can be sadness at not living out a more universal story - the supposed life cycle.

Sometimes you can't write a novel for weeks and weeks, but it's good for your self-esteem to work on something else.

I don't know what that line is between fiction and non-fiction that other people have in their minds, but to me, when I'm writing, it's just like whatever the next sentence should be is the next sentence. It's not this artificial division.

Only in our failures are we absolutely alone. Only in the pursuit of failure can a person really be free. Losers may be the avant garde of the modern age.

I've always had individual friends, but I didn't find the people I wanted to learn from as an adult until my mid-twenties.

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