Robert Orben Quotes

Most Famous Robert Orben Quotes of All Time!

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Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

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What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

President Ford used humor a great deal.

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