Paul Mooney Quotes

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I'm as American as apple pie.

I'm like the Davy Crockett of comedy... after Davy Crockett opened up the West and helped everybody... they didn't need him anymore. I freed a lot of comics... if I never would have done comedy, it would've been a different art form... I'm sure of it.

People think you're crazy if you turn money down... people worship money.

America has a rap sheet. You can't police the world and tell the world how to act when you're just as bad yourself.

I have nothing to do with racism in America; it was here when I got here.

We have a lot of black Anglo-Saxons. Their skin is black, but their brain is white. When I get real mad at them, I call them 'graham crackers.'

Julie Christie, I used to hang out with her. She was friends with Richard Pryor and Warren Beatty and all of them. There was a club in Beverly Hills called the Candy Store, a private club. I used to hang out with them all.

I read a lot of history. The passive Jews in Germany didn't survive. The smart ones got out.

I'm passionate about what I do. I'd be naive to be passive.

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.

I was born a comic.

I've never seen anyone more messed up over success than Richard Pryor. For him, it's a constant battle between success in the white world and keeping it real for his black self.

I think about never losing my voice, never giving in, never selling out, always keeping black, always sticking to the street. Staying neighborhood and not Hollywood.

You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. You don't hear about Martians in Harlem.

What does it mean to be too black for Hollywood? It's self-explanatory. Hollywood has certain kinds of blacks that they like.

There are still plenty of movie people peddling black stereotypes. I guess Tyler Perry's probably the most massively successful.

Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes.

If you have money and you have fame, but you don't have any confidence in your blackness, then it's all for nothing.

If you're happy with what you're doing, then you don't get bored.

People ask me, when was my best time? I always say, 'Today.'

My comedy is a nuclear bomb inside my mind. It's a weapon that's never been tested. It just blows up and flattens everybody.

I love Obama because he is proof all black people don't look alike. Nobody every told me, 'Good morning, Mr. President.' We don't all look alike.

There's always a message in my comedy.

My grandmother was the best. She loved you for you. She loved me for me. She was old-school. They broke the mold with her. They don't make them like that any more.

Handshaking means, 'I don't have a weapon.'

Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.

America is racial. America was founded on race. Race is America. The code name for America is 'race.'

I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy.

When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race.

Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it.

I think I have a mental nappy attitude.

I do celebrate anything with freedom in it, you know.

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