Michael Mcintyre Quotes

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Maybe people just can't cope with how jovial I am.

I don't watch any other comedy, I don't study stand-up as an art.

I like the stage lights to be bright so I can't see people because I will inevitably only see the ones who aren't laughing.

I have no ambitions to act, because I don't know how to.

I feel a bit weird about turning 40. It makes you feel like you've passed over on to the other side a bit.

My wife is very fit and looking younger every day, whereas I'm looking older day by day.

Given this voice, I know it does sound like I've come from money. But my dad was Canadian and my mum Hungarian, so it's not like I have some high-society, upper-class English background.

I went to quite a nice school as a kid, where everyone was quite posh, because my dad was making some money.

I worked every single night, not even caring if I got paid, to get myself known. Within a year I was on the Royal Variety Show and that was it.

I just find little things in life funny, it's why I giggle during my shows.

I was trying to do one-liners and it took me years to realise I just had to be myself. My fear was if I was myself and no one found it funny, I'd have nowhere left to go.

Now I almost overly embrace how weird I am, how I look and how oddly camp I am. It's almost too honest for me because I harboured ambitions to be quite a cool, good-looking guy.

I don't know how it is with other people's relationships, but my wife is always much more tired than me because she works much harder looking after the children, which is an endless battle - a lot of it is battling with them to stop battling with each other.

I think everyone wants to know why I look like this. These jokes I make about looking Chinese… My mother's from Hungary and my dad was from Canada. There's a lot of immigration in my past.

Australia is fun, but completely exhausting and confusing because I never get on with the different time zone.

It's a weird one: nobody notices when a brilliant comedian is fat or has sweat marks under their arms. Peter Kay isn't in the best shape and neither is Ricky Gervais, and it doesn't matter. Still, I like to feel like I'm transforming into something quite cool when I go on stage.

Sometimes I worry about things changing and people not liking me any more. As a comedian you do feel like you're walking on a knife edge.

I've got some Jewish ancestry and I don't like waste.

It's such a lie that women go for funny men.

I go to the British Comedy Awards and, you know, quite a few people were making jokes at my expense. It just made me feel awful, because I am there with my wife and she has gone out and bought a dress. And it is my big night and I won, and yet the overriding experience was that of nastiness.

If you can help it, don't be rude to people. When you're rude about someone and the audience laugh you can't deny that it's a bullying laugh.

I'm sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.

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