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I love Twitter. My favorite thing to do these days is to tweet things that seem very questionable as to whether I'm joking or not.
I'm Jewish and my wife isn't so right now we're literally decorating a Christmas tree with Jewish stars draped around it.
So when you go to a set and you just fully trust everybody, you know how hard everybody's working, you know that the people doing it are good and have such a strong vision - that's exactly my experience on 'New Girl,' and what my experience on 'Veronica Mars' was like. Everybody was just so great.
Another show I really enjoyed working on was 'Raising The Bar.' I did four or five episodes of that show.
George Wendt is a saint. And one of the finest American actors that we have.
If you knew my wife, you'd be like, 'Yeah, you're very married.' She runs the household. I refer to her as 'the greatest director I've ever worked with.'
I think L.A. gets a bad rap. L.A. is the same as everywhere else.
For a girl, the wedding is when you're married. For a guy, it's when you get engaged. It takes a real aggressive human being to back out between the ring and the wedding.
I think the most important foundation about any relationship is just being honest. You've got to. My wife and I are honest to a fault with each other, and we're best friends on top of it, so we're very fortunate.
There's nothing worse than walking around and talking about your failed relationship, all day, every day, for months on end.
I always feel like people in general are much weirder and insane than anybody really wants to admit. How dare somebody watch anything and go, 'That's not real!' Go on the subway. For five minutes.
I'm just not one of these guys who, like, you know, woke up with a six-pack. I need Skittles. I have to eat very particularly and I have to work out like a madman. And then it looks like... okay.
Here's what's nice about life: Sometimes you have ideas and for the most part, they're not good ones. And then you'll follow through with a handful of them and sometimes you'll be pretty disappointed. And then other times you'll follow through and you'll go, 'You know what? It's nice to be right.'
When I'm in the car sometimes it's like, 'Yeah, man, just put on the pop music.' You know what I mean? I don't want to listen to Tom Waits.
Pilots are so hard because you have to introduce all these characters, you have to hook an audience, and an audience has such a smaller attention span than maybe they used to have.
Yeah, a lot of people ask me to take my shirt off, which is aggressive. I wish that I were just one of those guys who was just like, 'You know, look, when I was seven I had a six-pack, and it just never went away.'
I just never want to be in this situation where I get to set and they're like, 'We rewrote this scene, you're now naked.' I need a little prep work.
I literally have over a thousand emails in my inbox that need to be returned. I'm sure all of my friends and certain family members are like, 'Oh, look who got nominated for an Emmy and doesn't want to write me an email back!' I need a good few hours to just sit and get on the phone.
I remember having a feeling like, 'I can't believe this is happening!' Two years ago I was auditioning for The Disney Channel, and now Paul Rudd is saying, 'Hey man, congratulations on your Emmy nomination!'
It is crazy. It's our first kid, and all of a sudden, she identifies letters as what they are, and you go, 'This kid is a genius - she's obviously some sort of savant!'
I love Jonathan Adler but more importantly I love throws. To clarify, a throw is not to be confused with a blanket. A blanket is to be slept under, a throw is to accent a chair or sofa and give the illusion that in some scenario someone might rest underneath it. In reality, this scenario does not exist and I never want it to.
During a panic attack, I remember that today is just today and that is all that it is. I take a deep breath in and I realize that in this moment I am fine and everything is okay. More importantly, I am reminded that my A.P.C. jeans are so perfectly worn in that they are appropriate for any season and I am suddenly at ease.
In my latter years I've decided that there's too much to keep track of when you go into the lying game. That becomes stressful and it's not for me anymore.
Making a pilot is never a seamless process. If it is, it usually tanks.
Shows like 'All in the Family' and now 'Mom' - there's a tradition of tackling real issues.
Having worked with Sarah Paulson on 'American Horror Story: Hotel' and seeing the lengths she goes to when shooting a scene, you go, 'Oh, so that's what this is going to be like.'
When you get to Heaven, God points you to the all-Entenmann's craft service and says, 'You can eat all you want, and you don't gain any weight.'
Having two kids is like having 1000. It's just scheduling, moving around, being mobile.
Early success is really scary. Especially in acting.
I just felt like actors - I watched a lot of 'SNL,' and those guys just seemed like they were superheroes - that that wasn't a reality for anyone other than people with superhuman strength. So, I mean, I acted a little bit in high school, but the idea of doing it professionally was just never really an option.
My parents were the best. They were very supportive.
I lived with a bunch of guys for about a year in L.A. when I was younger. But I never had a weird roommate situation.
I always tell people I'm not one of these guys that was, like, born with, like, a halfway decent body.
I'd much rather look adorkable than cool.
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