Maria Bamford Quotes

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I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.

I think taking vacations and turning off the phone and only doing emails or social media for a specific short amount of time helps with work/life balance. If I'm checking it all day I start to feel cuckoo-bird. So I...

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I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later.

I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, 'cos they always know where you're always going...

I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.

I'm sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I'm following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it.

It's always the compliments from people you love that mean so much.

The Internet makes everything much less mysterious.

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.

I love that vision-board thing where you cut out pictures that resonate with you so they'll manifest. I've done that since I was three; I cut out pictures of ladies from the JCPenney catalog.

I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've lost all their teeth.

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.

I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality.

In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something about acting like I don't care, or if I act like I haven't spent enough time...

In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45 minutes home, or do another set. So in San Francisco we can hang out, go for...

I am a wild orchid of comedy, so I can only do well under specific conditions... There are people who I think can do any room, and do stadiums and thousand-seat theaters, and then there are people like me who...

The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes & Noble.

My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things.

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