Marcus Brigstocke Quotes

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There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.

Guilt is feeling bad about what you have done; shame is feeling bad about who you are - all it is, is muddling up things you have done with who you are.

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!

I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also a beautiful city in its own right, is walkable, within sight of the sea and mountains - and was too far north for the Luftwaffe to have done any damage, hence the spectacularly beautiful architecture.

I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

Jim Henson was an absolute genius.

Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

I rarely fly, for environmental reasons more than anything else.

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'

I think it's important never to look yourself up on Wikipedia. I think the temptation to correct any interesting factual errors would be too much.

And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.

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