Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

Most Famous Lisa Lampanelli Quotes of All Time!

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I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're...

I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is...

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We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.

If they hate you, they hate you, but I've always been polarizing, and I love that.

When I decided to do 'The Celebrity Apprentice,' there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC.

Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine.

People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. We need to...

Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the issue, the better.

I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from different ethnic persuasions.

I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years.

I always wrote about myself in the third person. I knew how to promote myself so it sounded intelligent. I know how to package myself.

When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see passion. The...

I do a big roast of Trump during my set now - which I clearly expanded on - because there's so much to make fun of him about now.

I'm not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator.

I'm always proud of what I've done and what I continue to do.

I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn't because I'm not getting high-class babes that I should get at this...

If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him.

Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts.

I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it.

I remember, after the Pamela Anderson roast, being told, 'You're sold out - you can add two more shows.'

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