Graham Norton Quotes

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I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much!

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.

My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.

I think the word is adult!

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.

I am very quick to judge.

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time.

Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win.

All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

My life could have been so grim... really, really grim.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

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