Don Rickles Quotes

Most Famous Don Rickles Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best don-rickles quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Don Rickles Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Popular Quotes Topics for You.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

I never went out looking for glory.

My whole act is off the top of my head.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

I was a mother's boy.

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.

I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know.

I told jokes badly.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

Funny is funny.

I still have drive, but everything is relative.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.

When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.

My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas.

I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.

I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.

My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances.

I write my own tweets.

If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.

I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore.

Sinatra was somebody special.

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.

To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic.

Compared to what some of the young comics use for material today, I'm a priest.

In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.

I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day.

I've never had a written script.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child.

My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.

I'm not one of those guys who wants to die on a stage.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat.

The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know.

The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.

I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.

When you first start out with something new, you're always a little uptight.

Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore.

You've got to be able to sell yourself.

I didn't get married until I was 38.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.

I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.

After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles - whatever that is.

Guys, we are trying to share Unique Don Rickles Quotes, so you will not get to read the same things again and again on our website. You can also share your favorites on Facebook or send them to a friend who loves to reading quotes.