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Dave Barry Quotes

Most Famous Dave Barry Quotes of All Time!

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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

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