Alexandra Petri Quotes

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Every so often, when I am feeling plucky, I try to write a screenplay that combines all 10 of Americans' top phobias and market it as a sleeper hit.

Forced to confront a reptile or an international financial crisis, I'll take the reptile every time.

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Once you start worrying, it's hard to stop.

Bad things happen, and you can only be so prepared.

Wilde is an invaluable acquaintance. Often, in situations where I am required to appear witty, I simply steal large chunks from his works and attempt to pass them off as my own with minor modifications.

I know from personal experience that it is extremely difficult to read while you work out, especially on a Stairmaster.

Pleasure reading has long been an American ideal - generations of schoolchildren have headed home for the summer toting recreational reading lists. But try to pitch it to a group of non-readers, and they quickly become suspicious.

Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something.

No generation has escaped it - one morning, your skill with the eight-track or the record player or the cotton gin suddenly ceases to impress. It's just one of those inevitable disappointments that come with growing up, like the realization...

The problem with technology, as with fashion, is that it's impossible to be 'in' forever.

Life has its trade-offs. As you age, you lose things like teeth and the ability to play in the ball pit at fast-food restaurants, and you gain things like experience and employer-based health insurance.

All that time that we spend tweeting our thoughts and emotions to our next of kin, we could be writing the great American novel, starting a business, or just living.

YouTube is covered in comments that would be better expressed - and better spelled - via a simple thumbs-up or down.

No one has debates on Twitter.

People talk to pass the time, share information, and entertain each other.

The difference between face-to-face conversation and any other medium of communication is simple: No distractions are permitted.

Stereotyped as convention-going, pocket-protector-wearing, chess-playing, infrequently-showering types, nerds are one of our society's most ridiculed groups. And, for a university with an international reputation as a bastion of intellectualism, Harvard is startlingly devoid of them.

While MIT and the University of Chicago duke it out for the title of nerdiest school, James Franco and Renee Zellweger show up at Harvard to party. Somehow, miracle of miracles, Harvard is 'cool.'

In society at large, nerds are law-abiding, caring, fundamentally good folk who keep the wheels of civilization grinding.

Harvard is nerd rehab. You have to check yourself in. Those who seek a school filled with self-proclaimed 'nerds,' seek elsewhere. Dropping the H bomb may brand you as an intellectual or a Kennedy. But it will not give you...

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