Aisha Tyler Quotes

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Marriage is hard. I'm not gonna lie.

Marriage is a blood sport. Marriage is jousting. It's disembowelment. It's just terrible, terrible visceral injuries. It's not for everybody.

One thing about creativity is, when you feel confident and respected, you're more likely to pitch more interesting stuff because you're not as precious with it. You feel like, 'This is going to land, and I'm going to be supported in this.'

The whole principle of coming out is that everyone knows someone who's gay. The minute someone comes out, no one can be a bigot, because someone they love is gay.

I feel if you believe in equality, you have to believe in it for everybody. And that's the way I've always lived my life.

I was with someone at 19, and I was married at 23, and I didn't want kids when I was in my 20s.

I wasn't mentally prepared to take care of them, I was focused on my career. And then when I got to be in my 40s and I thought about having kids, I wasn't able to have kids naturally. I don't regret it.

I won't apologize for choosing my career over kids.

I married my college boyfriend, so I've been with him since I was a kid.

Sunday is like this entertainment scrum for me, because I've only got a day, one day of fun. So I want to have brunch, and I want to see a movie, and I want to watch 'Game of Thrones,' and I'm trying to watch 'The Sopranos' from the beginning, and I want to play four hours of video games. So, it's, like, as regimented as my work life.

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager.

I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.

I was always a theatrical kid.

I acted out a lot. I was very nerdy. I was very isolated, which I made up for by kind of talking and trying to entertain people and get them to like me, so I did theatre and improv in high school and college, but always as a hobby.

I've always been an outsider.

Not only was I the only black kid and the only poor kid, but my parents were transcendental meditation devotees, and I live in an ashram for a good portion of my childhood.

I'd like to provide an SAT word in everything I do.

My hands are delicate and elegant, thank you very much. They're well-kept; my nails are clean.

If you look at shows like 'Def Comedy Jam' in its heyday, there were so many really funny, talented black comics that never would have gotten on that show because they just weren't doing comedy that fit that mold.

The only way I was going to be funny was if I was myself, and either you liked it, or you didn't. Either you got on my train, or you didn't. Freeing myself of this idea that I had to fit a certain mold was when I was able to be my funniest.

One of the first movies my dad took me to see was the original 'Road Warrior.' And I was kind of raised on the action movies of that era: 'The Terminator' and 'Die Hard' and, of course, all of the 'Star Wars' movies.

It's always been the genres that fascinated me. I think great action movies and great thrillers are transformative.

I remember leaving the first 'Matrix' movie feeling completely radicalized, completely changed. I think we all, from our ordinary lives, like to think about putting ourselves into these extraordinary situations and wonder how we'd respond.

I see the first 'Bourne' movie as really kind of a fulcrum in changing the modern action film, where things are really gritty and really character-driven. Think about how the entire Bond franchise was completely radicalized by Bourne.

Chris Parnell's a genius, so he'd be amazing on 'Who's Line.'

I'm surrounded by geniuses, which is really not good for my own personal self-esteem!

Dartmouth represented a great opportunity. I wanted to go to the best possible school I could go to.

Dartmouth is a small school with high-caliber teaching. Our classes were all taught by professors, not teaching assistants. I felt like that was a school where I could make a big splash. The opportunities would be grander and more robust for me there than at a school with 40,000 students.

I didn't mind being in a school with a small African-American population. The African-American-community was very tight, and that was great. But I also wanted to interact with other types of folks.

Every culture is very important. Dartmouth has always been dedicated to diversity of culture.

I tell jokes, chat with people, and make stuff.

I am constantly re-evaluating my goals and trying to strike items from my to-do list that aren't critical.

Pursuit of perfection is futile. Instead, I prioritize and often realize goals or tasks I've been aiming for just aren't that important.

Standup comedy is inordinately difficult. If doing something else for a living will make you equally happy, choose that instead. I'm serious. Comedy is punishing.

I think people assume that because I talk the way that I talk that I grew up with money, and then I've had to say, 'No, I grew up poor.' And then I was like, 'Why do I have to play this game where the only black experience that's authentic is the one where you grew up in poverty?' I mean, it's ridiculous.

God, I mean I had so many people tell me, 'What you're doing doesn't work.' I used to have to get on stage and apologize for talking the way that I speak.

If you have a secret, and it's embarrassing to you, when you tell that story - you own it. It becomes yours, and no one can use it against you.

If you have an embarrassing story, and it's a source of shame, keeping it in just compounds the shame and turns the story into something poisonous. And if someone knows about it, then it can be used against you.

Everybody has those stories that make them wince when they think about them silently. But as soon as you tell that story, it becomes a little bit less cringe-inducing.

Success is not the absence of failure; it's the persistence through failure.

I love New Orleans. I did a movie there right before Katrina.

I'd be plenty happy if I could keep playing scientists and cops for the rest of my career.

I can't say that there's been some big change during my career where all of a sudden everything's totally colorblind.

I try to do more intelligent roles, unusual roles, and stronger women, and that's helped me a little bit with my casting opportunities.

After 40, your chances of getting pregnant are between two and eight percent, and in my particular case, they were less than five percent.

I married my husband because I loved him, and I don't feel like there's anybody missing from our marriage, but when you think about this person that you love, and you think about what a wonderful thing it would be to bring another person like that into this world, I think that's the hardest part about all of it.

I am black, and there's no getting around that, but being black doesn't define every aspect of my life.

I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don't tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.

Marriage is a mystery, and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.

I started out being a stand up and writing my own material. That took me to 'Talk Soup,' where I was writing and performing for TV.

Bravery is the engine of change.

I have a whole 'Halo' corner in my house. One time, when I went to Bungie, they gave me this awesome 'Halo: Reach' backpack. Usually, when you get stuff like that, it either ends up in the garage or going to charity. But I walk around with that 'Halo: Reach' backpack all the time, and I drink out of my 'Halo: Reach' bottle every day.

My goal is definitely to direct features - action movies, that's my favorite genre. So I would love to do the 'Halo' movie.

I'm, like, a binge gamer.

I think, like most gamers, I talk a good game.

You can't control where you were born, the family you were born into, what you look like; you can't control any of those circumstances. The only thing you can control is how you react.

I can't control what's fair and unfair. I can't control the nature of the business or the nature of society or the nature of the world, but what I can control is how I choose to see the world and what I choose to put back into it.

I believe in hard work. I think that everything flows out of that.

I hated, when I was a kid, being told that 'Black people don't do that.' And the white kids at school didn't accept me because I was black, and the black kids in my neighborhood didn't accept me because they thought I thought I was white.

We were poor. My mother got our clothes out of the free box at the church, you know? So much of when you're a kid is about relating about what you watch on TV. And who's got these cooler shoes, and 'Let's trade lunches.' And I was just like, 'I don't have a television. I have a rock and a piece of tofu.'

For a little while, my mom was a school teacher. And I went to the school that she taught.

My dad, he was a construction worker. He was a butcher. He was a deep sea fisherman.

My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

I don't believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.

There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.

Marriage isn't a carnival ride.

I was this weird little bookish giant.

I might not agree with myself in a year.

Comedy is ugly. It's honest, it's raw.

Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.

On general principle, I boycott shows that don't employ actors.

Yes, I do get recognized in public. It's pretty nice.

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.

I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop.

Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.

You know, it's about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying - all these young books for women are like I'm 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can't get a date. Come on.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

I'm sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.

And I was the only black kid in my school for almost all of my childhood, until I was a teenager. So imagine, if you will, being 6 feet tall by third grade, so essentially being a living maypole.

The only concept or experience or core belief that I can attribute my other-ness to is that I just started out a weirdo and I stayed a weirdo. And it took me a long time to embrace my outsidership and see it as a strength rather than a weakness.

I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn't do anything academically around the arts.

I'm such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.

I really do know football.

People challenge my nerd cred all the time. I just show them the photo of me winning my middle-school science fair, wearing my Casio calculator watch and eyeglasses so big they look like they can see the future.

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

You rarely see women being nice to each other on television anymore.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can't wait to get back. Can't wait to have some Timbits.

I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.

I like grown up comedy.

You know, I read graphic novels but not encyclopedically.

But I love stand-up, and it's where I came from creatively, so it's something I never want to walk away from.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.

I'm sure you can imagine it's pretty frustrating to have people talking about your private life who don't know anything about it.

My husband and I met when I was a teenager, and I've been with him for more than half of my adult life.

It's very hard when you love someone very much to also start to realize that maybe you want different things for your lives.

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