Stephen Colbert Quotes

Most Famous Stephen Colbert Quotes of All Time!

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I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.

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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I...

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet.

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you...

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.

Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

I have a morality. I don't know if it's the best morality. And I do like thinking. If people perceive that as a moral intellectualism, that's fine. That's up to them to decide.

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