John Oliver Quotes

Most Famous John Oliver Quotes of All Time!

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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.

My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like...

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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled.

I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.

It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.

People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.

In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes...

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.

I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.

If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian.

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.

I would hate to meet myself at 15.

I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

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